Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
