are you so shy because you have an std?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
