I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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