would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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