Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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