She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
