I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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