Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
