i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
