kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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