I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
