In the future we'll all be gay
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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