I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
