six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize