Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize