for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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