never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
