Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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