Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize