Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
