im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
