You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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