Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
