SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
