she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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