I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
