So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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