All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
