I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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