oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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