She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
