so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
