I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
