I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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