Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
