He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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