sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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