Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
