We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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