her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
