one two three fourrrrnication!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
