ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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