dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize