I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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