"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
