I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
