I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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