OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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