I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
