I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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