do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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