take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
