if i died would you start the facebook group?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
