People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
