Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
