Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My vagina is very pro this idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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