hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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