You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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