i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
