Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
