How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
