It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
