i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I understand Curling. That high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize