Whod you bang
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
