He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so let's talk penis.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
