Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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