With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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